1. |
Feel Love
03:01
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Feel love
Deep tongue
Feel love
Drip cum
Feel tongue
Deep love
Feel cum
Drip tongue
Feel cum
Deep cum
Drip cum
Feel cum
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2. |
Furry
05:54
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I find you so attractive
It drains my sanity
You have a beautiful figure
I can't make you reality
I'll have you make this promise
Smash in your teeth
I want to kill this faster
There is no saving me
Nothing can kill this guilt trip
Up in the stratosphere
Demons lie killing me
And masturbating me
I cannot wait for my judgement
The patience is killing me
Just send me to Hell already
I need to rip my jaw out
I need to cut my throat
I need to eat your psyche
I need to drown my lungs
I need to...
I need to stab myself
I need to punch your throat
Fun timing this killing image
I need to punch my throat
Punch me and slit my throat
Cowering in all my hate
It won't stop...
It won't stop...
It won't stop...
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3. |
Interlude 1
01:23
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4. |
Yoga Pants
08:48
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Demon lying in my bed
I can't get any sleep
Demon hovering over me
Trying to seduce me
I can't give what it wants
It's all in my head
Gun shaking in my arms
I can't scare it away
Orange light fills the room
Hallucinatory apparitional sex fiend
Rifle shaking in my arms
Guns can't ward off the mental wounds
She's dances before my eyes
Teasing me through this schizo trip
I aim the gun at her
Eyes shut, pull trigger
I scream, my love
I vomit my love
And as I stare at the wall
Now rife with bullet holes
She continues dancing away
She won't go away
I lie down facing the ceiling
And she touches my face
I feel her tongue on me
I seethe with rage
It tells me that it wants me
Demon tells me that she loves me
I can't scare it away
I won't believe what she says
Shaking uncontrollably
Will this ever end?
The more she smothers over my body
The more tempted I am
This rifle in my arms
Still some bullets left
Oh God if you don't take her away
I'll aim it towards my head
This love, our love
This fate, my hate
My hurt, our church
So worship away
This love I feel
Hatred, inside
Don't scream, I plead
This love is for me
Battle my mind
Desolation
Screaming inside
Toxic waste
Vomit unearthed
Breaking my mind
She calls for me
I can't escape
Trapped in this agony
Life never ends for me
Can I move on this way?
Could tomorrow be a new day?
Putting this waste on me
How could this be for me?
Why won't it go away?
Don't ask for me to stay
Love is life
Life is pain
Pain is death
Death is life
Life is love
Love is pain
Pain is sex
SEX IS MISERY
Love is pain
Pain is life
Life is sex
SEX IS MISERY
Pain is death
Death is love
Love is sex
SEX IS MISERY
God gave brains
To try and seduce us
Into thinking that
That witch girls
Are sexually drawn to men
Who commit suicide
But it lies
SEX IS MISERY
God gave brains
To try and seduce men
Into thinking
That witch girls
Will shove their fingers
Down our throats
To display their love to us
SEX IS MISERY
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5. |
Autiophilic Krush Fetish
06:18
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NOTHING CAN HURT ME MORE
THAN YOUR SMILE
NOTHING CAN BURN ME MORE
THAN YOUR TEARS
I WANT TO SEE IT ALL
CUT ME DEEPER
A GODLY INNOCENCE
IT'S DOWNRIGHT TORTURE
I'M GOING TO CRUSH MY SKULL
WITH A TEN TON HAMMER
I'M GOING TO CRUSH MY FOOT
WITH A RUSTY ICE PICK
I'M GOING TO SHOVE MYSELF
INTO AN IRON MAIDEN
I'M GOING TO MELT THE FLESH
OFF OF MY FACE SO I CAN'T FEEL YOU
NOTHING CAN KILL ME MORE
IN MY NERVE CENTERS
THAN A LOOK FROM YOUR PUPILS
INTO MY BLEEDING HEART
WHILE YOU LOOK AT ME SO DEARLY
WHEN YOU SMILE
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
I AM SUCH AN UGLY BEAST
YOU'RE INGENUINE
YOU'RE NOT REAL
YOU'RE AN INSULT TO ALL CREATION
SO MUCH INNOCENCE
SO MUCH PURITY
SO MUCH I CAN'T STAND IT AT ALL
YOU'RE NOT BEAUTIFUL
YOU'RE NOT CLEANLINESS
THEREFORE GOD SHOULD KILL US ALL
I'M UNGRATEFUL
I'M UNFAITHFUL
OH I JUST WANT TO END IT ALL
NOTHING CAN KILL ME MORE
THAN BEING SUBJECT TO YOUR GRACE
I DESERVE NOTHING MORE
THAN YOUR SPIT UPON MY FACE
I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF
ONE OF THESE DAYS
AND WHEN I DO I PRAY AND HOPE
YOU NEVER LEARN NY NAME
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6. |
Moon Fetish
05:48
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I am deep in love with the moon
I've fallen deep in love...
I see her smiling down at me
I've seen the bright side of the dark
And when I see her looking down at me
That's when I hear her sing her song
I've fallen deep in love with the moon
The sun's too angry, she blinds my eyes
But with the moon I can stare at her face
For hours on end and she smiles and stares back
As she knows I long for her
And she loves me too
And I love the way she swoons
When she knows I'm masturbating
To the beauty of her eyes
To the beauty of her smile
As I lie upon the grass
And we stare into each other
Knowing she knows just what I'm feeling
And we love each other so...
Much
Oh we belong to each other
Oh we need each other
Oh we're the light of our lives
She's the only one I want
There is no one else I long for
These women of flesh and bone
Could never compare to her deity-like features
From the black of the sky
To the grass and white stars
I am one with it all
And I'll be one with her too
She phases my eyes
She phases my thoughts
She phases my love
She phases my lust
When I gaze in her eyes
And I gaze in her thoughts
And I gaze in her love
And I gaze in her lust
And I reach out my hand
And I long for a touch
And I know if she could
She would reach out too
But the most she can do
Is keep smiling to me
And mouth out the words to me
"I love you"
We know we long for each other
We know we need each other
We both know that one day
We will finally be with each other
But I am but a lowly man
But I know that she waits for me
And when I die and become God
I vow that I'll return to her
Trillions of miles through all of space
Just for her, and only for her
And I will hold her in my arms
And we will finally cherish each other
And we'll remain frozen in time
In an everlasting and loving embrace
And she will never leave my arms
And we'll remain stagnant in that space
Never to die, only to love
For all of the rest of eternity
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7. |
Horny
07:07
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I feel myself falling
Into that pit again
That part of me rising
While the rest of me is dying
Locked into focus
My body's alive
I'll have my way again
My soul dying
Nothing else matters anymore
DON'T LET ME GO BACK AGAIN
Maybe it'll be different this time
Maybe I'll see
Why I keep doing this
Why I keep ruining me
But that never happens
It always ends up the same
And I plummet back to the ground
So have mercy on me
I'M GOING TO GO BACK AGAIN
And how they find me
I throw my mercy to the ground
And will it save me?
I spill salvation on the ground
And what it does to me
No ounce of joy is to be found
And should it kill me?
My heart beats a bleeding heart
I shouldn't be doing this (unending beauty)
Nobody should be treating themselves this way
The mind is worthless (the heart beating)
We throw ourselves into the grave
With the heart beating but the mind and soul destroyed (the soul dies)
Our bodies as empty husks as the soul is shriveled like a fetus
I've failed God (I've failed God)
It keeps happening
Over and over again
How am I supposed to
Ensure I never will again?
My mind numb
My soul dead
Can't focus, thoughts clouded
Yeah, here it comes again
Locked into place
Pleasure I can't ignore
I've gone too far to turn back now
I'll see you all in Hell
I feel myself drowning
I feel myself dying
Can't hear myself drowning
My thoughts are dead
Can't feel myself drowning
Can't feel myself dying
Can't feel myself dissolving
My love is dead
I feel my heart drowning
I feel my soul dying
Shriveled up and withered
I am dead
Can't feel myself burning
Can't hear myself crying
Thoughts shriveled and withered
My soul is dead
Can't feel myself living
As my body's rising
Fully destroying
I feel myself...
Dead
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8. |
Interlude 2
03:58
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9. |
Sin
11:52
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I hold in my arms a newborn baby
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen
I want to take the gun and shove it in my mouth
I want to take my head and slam it into a spike
I want to take a sharp head of a guitar
And shove it right through my f*king skull and eyes
I want to be impaled through my mouth
I can't bear to live another second of this life
Oh how we laughed and smiled through the days
Oh how we've learned to live, laugh, love, and play
And how our mother's smiled down upon our graves
As we jumped and rolled around the autumn hay
Oh suck on my gunshot jaw
Oh suck on my blown-out brain
Oh suck on my carved out eyes
Just like you sucked on my in-grown hate
You never saw me as a father
You never saw us as your family
You only saw us as pieces of meat
To be used only at your own disposal
You sick, vile, evil whore
Born with no remorse
What was already my regret
Turned into my death
But I'll be damned if I didn't enjoy it
I'll be damned if I never loved you
All the nights that we spent together
Blurring the lines between lust and love
But every single I night I cry
Lying next to her mother
To her, we are mother and father
To the rest, we're brother and sister
I cannot live like this
I will not live like this
My threshold has reached its end
God have mercy on all of us
I hold in my arms what once was my baby
Pumped full of lead
I hold her bleeding body in my arms
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen
I hold her body shaking and crying
Gun still in hand
I shove the gun into my mouth
And pull the trigger
My final moment of relief
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10. |
Destroyed
10:16
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I lie scattered in ruins
I lie left for dead on the highway
I look down and see half of my body cut off
And my guts have been engrained into the concrete
I have only my arms
To use to help crawl myself towards safety
The rest of my body is scattered about
To be left behind in a bloody mess
But this physical agony doesn't compare
To the image in my head of your smiling face
As I crawl onto the grass and vomit from the pain
I bury myself in hate because
You're the one who did this to me
I claw my nails through the grass
Leaving a trail of blood behind from my fallen out entrails
This is the physical embodiment of how you ruined me
How you had me destroyed
You punish me with hate
My arms are plagued with scrapes
My eyes burn black in pain
My heart seethes red with rage
This hatred that I feel
Will never go away
Never as long as I still
See the smile on your face
Everything you've ever done
Everything that you stand for
Everyone who's ever thought
That you're a blessing on their lives
My pain is unimaginable
It makes my head explode
To the point where I'll step outside and
Remove the pin from this grenade
I have nothing else to lose
I have nothing else to live for
The burden of this weight
Solely caused by your existence
I refuse to live in a world
Where we both bleed the same red
Where we both breathe the same air
Where we both tread the same dirt
My teeth are grinding
My head is bleeding
My wrists are cut
My throat is hoarse
My sweat is dripping
The sun is seething
It burns down on me
Burning my skin into ash
Unfathomable torture
The smell of rain
I lift my head up and I
Bleed the sky of all my shame
Schizophrenic pre-death visions
And you're to blame
I am now no longer a man
Now my flesh has turned into hate
Destroyed...
I am destroyed
My blood pumps harder and harder
To the point where it breaks through my skin
And my blood pours out of me
Draining through my fingertips
And my brain so seethed with hate
Finally breaks the tumor inside
Blood pours through my throat and eyes
Destroyed...
I am destroyed
Now I'm left with my bleeding face
And the sky absorbs my screams
All of this caused by my hate
Because of your life, I am destroyed
Because of your breath, I am destroyed
Because of your laugh, I am destroyed
Because of your smile, I am destroyed
Because of your tears, I am destroyed
Take a long and healthy look at me
This war I've waged is cause of me
Purge myself of all my hate
I will make you take the blame
For my suffering so great
The only thing that keeps me alive
The chance to see you one last time...
So I can take you down with me
I am degraded
So much less of what I am
I used to be a saint
I had that ripped from me
I am decadent
I've stooped so low to turn back now
And I am hopeless
The only thing left is death
When you're destroyed
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11. |
Feel Hate
03:38
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Guhtika Albuquerque, New Mexico
One man solo project. The musical equivalent of eating a week old burger that's been left in the fridge.
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